My prayers were answered but I was too ignorant to know it
A few years ago, I had the privileged of performing Umrah. I was still wondering on how that privileged was given to me as I am not the best muslim out there and I think Allah knows that I needed. My soul needed it.
During my time there, I had experienced peace and content like nothing else. And if that is what we will feel like in heaven, or even more, I pray that I will be one of the members of Jannah.
I got sick when I arrived there. Due to the extreme weather changes and my body is trying to adapt. I even lost my voice for the first time in my life.
During my sickness, I performed my second umrah alone. And while I was doing the tawaf, I saw they are opening Hijr Ismail for people to pray inside. I pray to Allah again and again and again during tawaf for me to be able to perform a prayer and dua inside Hijr Ismail.
And behold, I did. Somehow, I managed to get through the crowd and able to get inside. And there, I pray with my whole heart.
One of my prayers was that Allah gives me the rizq for me to help my family. Especially financially.
A year after, a lot of things happened. I got a new job and although my pay raise is not what I expected. Allah still blessed me with everything else I wanted for a job.
A lot happened to my family too. And somewhere along the way, I have to support some of them financially. Although not much, but I still give what I can. However, I get angry and annoyed when I became the very person that have to sacrifice my hard earn money to help them, when in reality, they are the one that are supposed to help me.
When I was sitting down, trying to get a lil nap inside the surau once, I realized that this situation is exactly what I have prayed for. And oh, how I have been so ungrateful and ignorant.
I should thank Allah a million times for me to be blessed like this. And I pray that Allah will give me more rizq in order for me to be able to do good for my family.
Dear Allah, Oh Ya Rahim, Ya Razak, Forgive my anger and my ungratefulness. Blessed me and guide me through every hardship you gave me. Make me a better person in every aspect. increase my rizq and my money. Make me the person that can financially bless someone while having a stable income and savings.
Love, Ordinarily Existing