I seem to forget my father's face
I lost my father over 3 years ago. He succumbed to the virus. It was a life changing event.
Though life seems to move on like usual. I went to work after 3 days of the “official” mourning period. Like nothing happened. Like I left my work for a break.
Over time, the mourning continues and grew even bigger. Sometimes, I am exploded with emotions and just a simple thought of him, will bring me to tears. I can't even mention him in a conversation.
It has been 3 years and counting. And I seem to forget his face.
It felt weird. Not remembering how he looked like.
Sure, I have pictures. I have videos. And it broke my heart hearing his voice in those videos.
But if I were to cross path with him on a sidewalk, I don't think I can recognize him in an instant. Which is scary.
And embarrassing. How can I forget a face I used to look at every day? How can I forget a face I used to look for in crowded places?
Whenever I look at his pictures now, I will try to scan every inch of his face. And saying things like “Oh, this is how you look like”
I seem to forget my father's face. And I don't want to. I hope I won't.
Ever.
Love, Ordinarily Existing